My brain on Monday morning: buffering... buffering... still buffering. Send coffee.

My blood type is coffee. My personality type is 'don't talk to me before my first cup.'

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

My boss's filter turned him into a potato for 10 mins. Best Zoom meeting ever. #WorkFromHome

Swiped right on 'loves hiking & dogs.' Turns out it was a picture of their dog hiking alone.

Just spent 3 hours trying to fold a fitted sheet. Adulting is a scam.

My kid just asked why the sun follows the car. Send help, I'm not a physicist.