Extraneous Narrator

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This hits different at 3am

I can't stop laughing at this

The accuracy level is over 9000

My coworkers are wondering why I'm laughing so hard

Here We Go Again...

Grocery Store Cart Drifting Champion

That One Suspicious Shop in Every City

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

My phone battery percentage is basically my social battery percentage. Both at 3% by noon.

Ordered a 'chic minimalist' lamp. Got a glorified glow stick. My aesthetic is now 'underwhelming'.