My kid just asked why the sky is blue. I said 'magic'. Parenting level: Expertly avoided.

My brain during seasonal depression: 'Is it fall or is it just my soul wilting?' 🍂💀

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

My phone battery percentage is basically my social battery percentage. Both at 3% by noon.

Ordered a 'chic minimalist' lamp. Got a glorified glow stick. My aesthetic is now 'underwhelming'.

It's 70 degrees and sunny. Someone in my city is still complaining about the 'humidity'.

My WFH 'office' is just my bed with a laptop on my stomach. Productivity is a myth.