My blood type is coffee. My spirit animal is a barista. Don't talk to me before my first cup.

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The internet was invented for moments like this

My coworkers are wondering why I'm laughing so hard

This made my whole day better

This is the best thing I've seen all week

My 'work from home' outfit is 50% pajamas, 50% professional top for video calls. Balance.

My WFH 'office' is just my bed. Productivity is a myth.

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

My phone battery percentage is basically my social battery percentage. Both at 3% by noon.

Ordered a 'chic minimalist' lamp. Got a glorified glow stick. My aesthetic is now 'underwhelming'.

It's 70 degrees and sunny. Someone in my city is still complaining about the 'humidity'.