My screen time report is basically a memoir. 'A Life Lived Online: A Tragedy in 8 Hours.'

My phone battery percentage is basically my social battery percentage. Both at 3% by noon.

Me: 'Just 5 more minutes on TikTok.' *3 hours later* My brain: 'Did you even blink?'

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

Ordered a 'chic minimalist' lamp. Got a glorified glow stick. My aesthetic is now 'underwhelming'.

My WFH 'office' is just my bed with a laptop on my stomach. Productivity is a myth.

My boss's filter turned him into a potato for 10 mins. Best Zoom meeting ever. #WorkFromHome