My team lost. I'm legally obligated to overreact for 72 hours.

My team won. I'm getting a tattoo. My team lost. I'm burning my house down.

My team loses: 'Fire everyone! This is unacceptable!' My team wins: 'I knew it all along!'

My team scores: 'WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!' My team concedes: 'FIRE EVERYONE! THIS IS A DISGRACE!'

My team scores: 'WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!' My team misses: 'FIRE EVERYONE! THIS IS A DISGRACE!'

Me at the gym: 'I'm a fitness guru!' Also me: 'Is this machine for sitting?'

My team won. I've already bought a parade float and named my firstborn after the MVP.