Swiped right on a profile that said 'fluent in sarcasm & pizza.' Now we're getting married.

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My coworkers are wondering why I'm laughing so hard

Dead. Absolutely dead. ๐

Pure gold content ๐

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

My phone battery percentage is basically my social battery percentage. Both at 3% by noon.

Ordered a 'chic minimalist' lamp. Got a glorified glow stick. My aesthetic is now 'underwhelming'.

My boss's filter turned him into a potato for 10 mins. Best Zoom meeting ever. #WorkFromHome

That moment you make eye contact with someone eating a full meal on the train.

Me: 'Just 5 more minutes on TikTok.' *3 hours later* My brain: 'Did you even blink?'