My attempt at baking vs. the recipe pic. Why does it look like a crime scene?

Attempted to bake a cake. It now resembles a volcanic eruption. 0/10.

Tried to make a 'simple' cake. Now my kitchen looks like a flour bomb went off.

Tried making a 'gourmet' grilled cheese. Ended up with a charcoal brick and a smoke alarm concert.

My 'gourmet' dinner turned into a charcoal briquette. At least the smoke alarm works!

My cooking fail went so viral, Gordon Ramsay probably felt it in his soul.

My attempt at baking a cake vs. the Pinterest recipe. Send help. And a fire extinguisher.