My team won. My neighbor's car is now upside down. Worth it.

My team won. I'm pretty sure I just screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops. Worth it.

My team won. I'm getting a tattoo. My team lost. I'm burning my house down.

My team loses: 'Fire everyone! This is unacceptable!' My team wins: 'I knew it all along!'

My team won. I'm getting a tattoo. My team lost. I'm burning my jersey. #SportsFans

Leg day: where my will to live goes to die, then gets resurrected as pure soreness.

Me at the gym: 'I'm a fitness guru!' Also me: 'Is this machine for sitting?'