My team scored. My neighbor heard me scream. I think I owe him an apology cake.

My team won. I'm pretty sure I just screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops. Worth it.

My team loses: 'Fire everyone! This is unacceptable!' My team wins: 'I knew it all along!'

My team won. I'm getting a tattoo. My team lost. I'm burning my jersey. #SportsFans

My team scored. My neighbor just started a one-person parade down the street. It's 3 AM.

Me at the gym: 'I'm a fitness guru!' Also me: 'Is this machine for sitting?'

My team won. I've already bought a parade float and named my firstborn after the MVP.