My blood type is coffee. My therapist said it's a problem. I said it's a lifestyle.

My blood type is coffee. My personality type is 'don't talk to me before my second cup'.

Bought it online, looked great. Arrived, looked like a potato sack. The internet is a liar.

Ordered a 'chic minimalist' lamp. Got a glorified glow stick. My aesthetic is now 'underwhelming'.

My boss's filter turned him into a potato for 10 mins. Best Zoom meeting ever. #WorkFromHome

That moment you make eye contact with someone eating a full meal on the train.

Me: 'I need this!' *adds to cart* Package arrives: 'What even IS this?' #OnlineShoppingRegrets