Attempted gourmet pasta. Ended up with pasta glued to the pan and the ceiling. Send help.

Tried making a 'gourmet' grilled cheese. Ended up with a charcoal brick and a smoke alarm concert.

Tried to make a 'simple' cake. Now my kitchen looks like a flour bomb went off.

Tried to bake a cake, ended up with a charcoal briquette. Send help.

My 'gourmet meal' turned into a charcoal briquette. At least the smoke detector worked!

Ordered a gourmet burger, got two sad patties on a deflated bun. Expectations vs. Reality.

Ordered a gourmet burger, got a sad patty in a bun. My disappointment is immeasurable.