My blood type is coffee. My love language is a fresh brew. Don't talk to me pre-caffeine.

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My coworkers are wondering why I'm laughing so hard

This is the content I came here for

Why does this describe my life so perfectly

My 'gourmet' dinner looks like a crime scene. Send help (and pizza). #CookingFail

Ordered a gourmet burger, got two sad patties on a deflated bun. Expectations vs. Reality.

Tried making a 'gourmet' grilled cheese. Ended up with a charcoal brick and a smoke alarm concert.

What I ordered vs. what arrived. My disappointment is immeasurable. #FoodDelivery

Food delivery 'gourmet meal' vs. what arrived. I'm suing for emotional damage.

Tried to bake a cake, ended up with a charcoal briquette. Send help.